Even A Small Degree of Hope
by criminalxxxmindsxxxfreak
Summary: Oneshot. After a tough case, Reid has a nightmare and shows up at Morgan's house, needing the comfort of a friend. Morgan/Reid slash; nothing graphic. Part 1 in my Morgan/Reid series!


**A/N: How did this happen? I remember, not too long ago, when I wrote "Undercover" saying that I do NOT write Slash… I mean, I have nothing against it… I just never wanted to write it… Especially Morgan/Reid… they are far too much like brothers… And yet, here I am, writing THIS… anyone else think I'm nuts?**

**Basically, even though Morgan and Reid are like brothers in my head, not lovers, this is my take on how they might have possibly ended up as a couple… Still not entirely sure where the heck this came from, but as I've said before, I get ideas, I write them down, whether or not I agree with them or like them…**

**WARNING: This is a Morgan/Reid slash story. There is nothing graphic, but if Slash offends you, read something else.**

**Please review! I would love peoples' opinions on this!**

* * *

Even a Small Degree of Hope

_"Even a very small degree of hope is enough to cause the birth of love."_  
- **Stendhal**

Spencer Reid's breathing hitched in his chest and he bolted upright in his bed, shaking. He felt tears pricking his eyes and he felt so weak he wanted to hit something. He wrapped his arms around his chest and focused on breathing deeply but it didn't seem to be working. He hated nightmares, yet he seemed to get them constantly.

He tried nearly ever method he could find to get rid of the terrifying visions his mind conjured up at night, but nothing ever seemed to work. And tonight's horror show was even worse. The last case they'd worked on had been tough. Morgan had almost died. And in his dream, he had died.

Reid could still see him, lying in a pool of congealing blood, bullet holes decorating his body. His eyes were lifeless. He tried to make himself remember that Morgan hadn't been shot. That his friend… his best friend… hadn't really died. The bullet had only grazed his arm. Morgan was fast enough to dodge out of the way, and Hotch had taken down the unsub only seconds later.

So why couldn't he close his eyes without seeing Morgan dead? He knew he would never get back to sleep if he didn't find a way to convince himself that it had been a nightmare. He knew that that was all it had been, but somehow couldn't actually make himself really believe it.

He sighed. There really was only one way for him to be sure that Morgan wasn't dead. He chewed on his lip and glanced at the clock on his nightstand. It was 2:15 a.m. Could he wait until tomorrow to prove it had been a nightmare? He closed his eyes and leaned back against the pillows.

Moments later, he sat back up, the images still playing across his mind. Damn it. He sighed and reached for the phone, not really wanting to wake his friend, but needing to hear his voice. Needing to prove that this was just one terrible dream.

He nearly screamed in frustration when the voicemail picked up. Of course Morgan would be asleep right now.

Reid's jaw tightened. There really was only one thing left to do… but really, was one night of peaceful sleep worth waking Morgan so early? Pressing his lips together, he experimentally closed his eyes again and that image floated back to the surface.

Yes, it was worth it. He couldn't stand another second, let alone the hours it would be if he waited until morning, of worrying over some stupid nightmare.

He pushed the blanket off of himself and dressed quickly, calling Morgan's phone one more time to be sure. Again the voicemail picked up so he grabbed his keys and headed for his car, feeling like an idiot for even doing this.

It was almost 2:40 by the time Reid pulled into the driveway of Morgan's house. All the lights were out, Morgan's car sitting the driveway. He bit his lip and frowned. "What are you doing here?" he muttered. Shaking his head, his climbed out of the car and made his way to the front door.

Feeling more and more like and idiot, the remnant of tears still staining his face, Reid knocked on the door. He needed to see Morgan. Alive. He had to prove to himself that it was just a nightmare. That it wasn't real. He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that Morgan hadn't died. But again, as he closed his eyes, that was all he could see.

There was no response from inside the house. Reid bit down harder on his lip, and knocked again. After another minute of silence, Reid felt incredibly stupid, standing there. He was turning to leave when the light came on and the door was opened to reveal a very tired looking Derek Morgan.

"Reid?" He asked groggily. "What are you doing here? Is everything alright? Are you… you're ok, right?" Morgan asked. He hated the way his mind immediately jumped to the possibility of drugs, but when Reid had been going through withdrawals it had become a habit of his to show up at his house. Morgan never minded it, Reid was his best friend and it was a much better alternative to him using again.

Reid blinked, taking a second to understand what Morgan meant and shook his head, "I'm fine… I just… I had a nightmare…" he trailed, off feeling even more stupid now, seeing Morgan standing there breathing and most certainly not dead.

Morgan frowned and moved aside, "Come on in, kid." he said motioning for Reid to enter.

Reid hesitated a moment and Morgan sighed, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him inside. He lead him to the living room and they sat down on the couch.

"Tell me about it," he said.

Reid frowned and looked down, his fingers tracing patterns on the back of his hand for a minute before he started talking. "It was about that last case, you know. Those women being killed?"

Morgan nodded, forcing his eyes to stay open. He could tell this was really bothering Reid… but damn he was tired.

"And… when you got shot… Well… in my dream, that bullet did more than graze you. It - It was more than one bullet, actually. And you… you were dead. Maybe I'm being stupid… I shouldn't have even come here, but… I had to see that you were alive. I had to know for sure if -"

He suddenly stopped talking when Morgan leaned forward, getting very close to his face. Morgan had been listening to Reid talk, but he was paying more attention to his mouth, the way his lips formed the words as he spoke. Maybe it was because he was so tired he was delirious, but he couldn't help himself when he moved closer.

"M-Morgan?" Reid whispered. With him this close Reid could smell his body wash… and was oddly dizzied by the closeness… He had the strangest urge to close the distance between the two of them and press his lips to Morgan's. But that was ridiculous. This was Morgan he was talking about. Morgan as in his best friend, Morgan. Morgan as in definitely _not_ gay, Morgan. Morgan as in -

Morgan leaned forward, with very little thought other than the fact that he not wanted, but needed to feel Reid's lips against his, and pressed his mouth to Reid's.

Reid blinked, not sure how to react at first. Then he found himself kissing back, and one of Morgan's hands ran through his hair while the other gently touched his face. Reid closed his eyes and leaned further into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Morgan's neck.

There was no thought anymore. Just an odd feeling of dizziness and being… whole. For the first time in his life, Reid didn't feel like there was something missing. Maybe this was why he had been so desperate to see Morgan. Maybe his subconscious had known something all along that he had simply refused to see.

After a minute, Morgan pulled away and stared at Reid. They were both breathless. "I'm not dead, Pretty Boy." he said gently. "It was just a nightmare."

Reid smiled slightly, "You had to kiss me to prove that?" he whispered, his face reddening slightly when Morgan's hand reached up to trace his jaw.

"No. I did that because I really, really wanted to. You have no idea how damn kiss-able your mouth is."

* * *

**A/N: In response to a recent (anonymous) review on this I feel the need to clear things up a little.**

**Yes, I never intended to write a slash story when I wrote this. Yes, I was NOT a slash fan when I wrote this. Yes, I have since changed my opinion on slash and am an avid fan of slash provided that I can see the relationship making sense between the two characters. Most of the pairings I support are slash pairings.**

**And NO, I am NOT a homophobe. I have never been a homophobe and I do not appreciate someone skewing my own words to make it seem like I somehow said something hate-driven or spiteful. All I said was that I never intended to write slash. My reasons for not liking slash had NOTHING to with homosexuality and more to do with the fact that I personally felt that changing a character's sexuality (because Morgan and Reid are NOT GAY) to fit a story seemed like making them OOC. Obviously, I changed my mind once I realized that there is no real harm in playing around with a character's characterization, provided it still makes sense and is at least in the realm of possibility.**

**I'd also like to say that sending me a hate-filled review because you think that I hate gay people is fucking rude. So, anonymous review, I don't give a shit how "beautiful" you thought my story was, if that's the amount of respect you have for me, my writing and for "breeders" (so it's wrong for someone be homophobic, but you can insult straight people? Can someone say hypocrite?) then you can just stop reading my stories right now. I won't feel any loss at all.**

**To any other readers, I apologize for the ranting/soap-boxing. It infuriates me that someone would even insinuate that I'm a homophobe when homophobia is the one thing that I truly will not tolerate in any setting. I have always supported the LGBT community and I always will. I have never said anything even remotely homophobic and I don't like other people twisting my words around, reading hate where there is none.**


End file.
